Friday, December 19, 2014

Emails I get.

"If you were an evil villain...

"Hi Jef, 

I was wondering, If you were an evil villain, what would you be? I kind of lean towards demon from hell. And lets face it, a demon from hell can fly, breathe fire and still fit in your house. So you have the cool factors of dragon with the convince of sleeping on the couch or a normal bed... Anyway, I realize that not everyone wants to be compared to that  and I'm sorry if being called a demon from hell offends you. I can also see you as a bear that uses a burrito bazooka or a sith lord. But I figured I'd ask you. Also people still ask about that semester and  what happened. So I figured if I was going to talk about what its like to see you mad I'd ask you. 
(Name removed to protect dignity)
I like orc warlord as a villainous position. But again ... Sith Lords shoot lightning"
----

"Office Appt. 

Mr. Jeff, 

It has been quite some time since our paths have crossed. (I emailed your school email already last week, but I really hope I didn’t receive a reply because you didn’t check it and not because reasons.)

This is unacceptable.

Fill out the proceeding form with a black pen (not blue) in triplicate (by hand each, do not use that triple page thingy with the yellow and pink pages that fade all the information, I mean, who can read that):

Official Office Questionnaire

  1. What times and dates are you available for a meeting of utmost importance?

[END OF QUESTIONNAIRE - THIS PAGE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK]

Please respond in a timely fashion,

Mdme. (Another name removed to protect dignity) IV, Esq., PhD."




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